As I was preparing my coaching services offer, I found myself in an uncomfortable place. Money is not one of my favorite topics (see blog on MONEY), and I was talking through it with a fellow coach when they asked a powerful question on where my energy was as I began to prepare my offering. The step that was the most powerful for me was detaching from the outcome, but it’s so easily forgotten when you’re working on something you’re passionate about. I wrote this blog as a reminder to myself and I thought it might also serve some of you.
In life, our approach to situations can make all the difference. When we operate from a place of clarity and confidence, our interactions feel different—more authentic and empowered. One of the most transformative shifts you can make is moving from an “ask” to an “offer.” This shift isn’t just about changing words; it’s about changing energy. Moving from an ask to an offer can lead to more fulfilling relationships, create healthier boundaries, and foster a deeper sense of self-worth. When you offer rather than ask, you come from a place of abundance and assurance, where your needs are already met, and you are detached from the outcome. This perspective not only fosters inner peace but also builds genuine connections with others.
Understanding the Difference: An Ask vs. an Offer
An “ask” often comes from a place of need or desperation. It’s rooted in the feeling of lack, where we seek validation, resources, or support from others because we believe something is missing in ourselves or our lives. When we ask from this space, we may feel insecure or uncertain, hoping someone will fill the gap. Maybe there was a time when you needed reassurance from a friend or colleague. Perhaps you asked, “Do you think I did a good job on that project?” While there’s nothing inherently wrong with seeking feedback, if this question comes from a place of insecurity or a need for external validation, it becomes an ask. You’re essentially looking for someone else to affirm your worth or capabilities because you’re not feeling confident within yourself.
On the other hand, an “offer” comes from a place of abundance. It is the confident expression of what you have to give or share with the world, knowing that you are complete as you are. When you offer, you are detached from the outcome because your sense of self-worth and fulfillment does not depend on how others respond. It’s a powerful place to be—a place where you can interact with the world from your wholeness rather than your perceived shortcomings.
The Benefits of Shifting from Ask to Offer
When you make this shift, you align yourself with a mindset of abundance and possibility rather than scarcity and need. This change in perspective allows you to:
1. **Cultivate Inner Peace:** By feeling confident in what you have to offer, you no longer feel anxious or desperate for approval or resources.
2. **Enhance Relationships:** Approaching interactions as an offer rather than an ask builds trust and authenticity, making connections more genuine and meaningful.
3. **Empower Yourself:** Recognizing your inherent worth and what you bring to the table empowers you to make choices that align with your true self, not just your immediate needs.
Steps to Shift from Ask to Offer
Making the shift from an ask to an offer is a journey, but here are some steps to help guide you:
1. **Recognize Your Worth:** Begin by acknowledging your strengths, talents, and what you have to offer. Reflect on what makes you unique and valuable.
2. **Shift Your Mindset:** Focus on what you can give rather than what you need. This could be your time, expertise, or support. Cultivate a mindset of abundance—believe that you have enough to offer and that there is enough in the world for everyone.
3. **Detach from the Outcome:** Practice releasing attachment to how others respond to your offer. Understand that your value does not diminish based on acceptance or rejection.
4. **Practice Gratitude:** Cultivate a habit of gratitude for what you have and what you can offer. This practice shifts your focus from lack to abundance, reinforcing the energy of giving.
5. **Set Clear Intentions:** Be clear about your intentions when offering something. Make sure it comes from a place of genuine desire to give rather than a hidden need to receive.
Finding Power in Offering
When you make the shift from ask to offer, you step into a more powerful and peaceful way of being. You stop seeking validation outside yourself and begin to recognize your inherent worth. This shift is not about avoiding asking for help when needed; rather, it’s about ensuring that when you do ask, it comes from a place of wholeness, not desperation. By embracing this change, you create a more balanced, fulfilling life—one where you can truly inspire, empower, and transform yourself and others.
