Noticing what lights us up can help us find flow, purpose and impact.
We use the word joy all the time, but I think we sell it short. Most definitions describe it as happiness, delight, or gladness. Psychology Today goes further, calling it “our delight when we experience, celebrate, and anticipate the manifestation of those things we hold with the most significance.” Helpful, yes — but still incomplete.
Joy isn’t only a mood or a high point. It’s the embodied feeling of alignment, the lightness in your chest, the energy that rises when you’re fully present, the ease of being in flow. Most importantly, joy is a clue. It points us toward purpose, shows us where to place our attention, and reminds us of what really matters.
Joy isn’t just a fleeting feeling; it’s a doorway into flow — the state where work feels effortless, creativity comes alive, and energy renews itself. It matters because it aligns us with what’s true, connects us with others, and fuels the impact we make. The real question is: how do we notice it, and how do we create more of it in our lives?
Why Joy Matters (Now More Than Ever)
We live in a culture that celebrates busyness. Hustle is rewarded, productivity is praised, and success is measured against milestones — the house, the title, the achievements we can post about. Yet beneath all that striving, many people are running on autopilot.
The cost of ignoring joy shows up everywhere: rising stress, burnout, anxiety, and a growing sense of disconnection. Kids are struggling. Adults are leaving jobs in record numbers. Whole systems are cracking under the weight of obligations and “shoulds.”
It’s not always easy to see this in ourselves, but we see it clearly in others. The driver who erupts in road rage. The colleague whose patience wears thin over small things. The friend who’s always rushing, stretched too thin, with no buffer left for grace.
When we don’t follow joy, life narrows. We play by rules we didn’t write, compare ourselves endlessly, and chase moving goalposts, always thinking joy is waiting at the next promotion, the next purchase, the next milestone. And yet, when those things arrive, joy often doesn’t.
The opposite is also true. When we do follow joy, even in small ways, we tap into flow. Work feels lighter, relationships feel richer, and we feel more alive, connected, and purposeful. Joy isn’t just a nice bonus. It’s a compass, and when we ignore it, we lose our way.
A Personal Realization
I realized how easy it is to lose touch with joy during a meditation exercise. The guide asked us to tune in to what brought us joy. Simple enough, but when I tried, nothing came right away. I couldn’t quickly name what made me feel joyful.
That moment stayed with me, and I began to notice that I was following a plan instead — a set of rules written by culture and peers. Buy the house. Hit the milestones. Build the career. When we achieve those things, then we’ll be happy. That was the unspoken promise.
But the goalposts kept moving. When we moved back to the U.S., we thought things would feel different. They didn’t. When I landed the right job, I thought I’d feel aligned. I didn’t. Each milestone came and went, but the deeper joy felt far away.
Eventually, I realized that joy wasn’t hiding in the next external win. It was present in the moments of connection and creation, the times when I felt light and energized. Those were clues. And when I started paying attention to them, I began to understand what following joy really means: not chasing the next marker of success, but leaning into the moments that make us feel alive.
How to Follow the Joy
The first step is simple: pay attention. Notice the moments when joy shows up. For some, it’s getting lost in a project at work where the hours fly by and you come out of it energized instead of drained. For others, it might be the satisfaction of solving a problem, the spark of leading a meeting, or the creativity of building something new. These moments are clues.
If you find joy in creating, does your current role give you space to create? If you feel most alive outdoors, does your work or daily rhythm allow you to be outside regularly? Maybe joy shows up in writing, cooking, organizing, or connecting. Does the way you’ve designed your life give you enough access to those things?
This isn’t always about changing careers — most of us can’t flip our lives upside down overnight. It’s about noticing what lights you up and asking: Does my life give me enough regular access to these joy points? If not, how can I build them in more intentionally through my work, my schedule, or the way I spend free time?
Joy is a compass, but only if we’re willing to pause and listen. Small adjustments, daily infusions of joy, are what bring our lives and work into alignment.
Bringing It All Together
Joy isn’t a luxury. It’s a compass. It shows us when we’re aligned, where to place our energy, and how to step into flow. When we pay attention to it, we move through life with more ease, more connection, and more impact. When we ignore it, we drift into obligation, autopilot, and patterns that leave us depleted.
The truth is, joy is available in any moment. It doesn’t depend on titles, milestones, or external wins. It’s an inside job — a practice of noticing, pausing, and choosing more of what lights us up.
Joy is a clue, a doorway, and a guide. The question is whether we’re willing to listen.
Anchor Questions
How can you create more space for that in your life this week?
What lights you up?
When did you last feel joyful, energized, or in flow?
