During my haircut the other day, the stylist asked, “Would you like some water or tea?” Without hesitation, I smiled and said, “Oh no, I’m good.” She nodded and moved on, and we began the appointment.
But a few seconds later, I noticed something funny—I actually would have loved a cup of tea. The offer was genuine. I wasn’t in a rush. And yet, I dismissed it automatically.
Why?
I realized I didn’t want to inconvenience her. Even though she offered… even though I wanted it… I still said no. And it wasn’t really about the tea. It was about receiving. And it’s not the first time I’ve reacted that way.
There was an invisible reflex to decline. Maybe I didn’t want to seem high-maintenance. Maybe I was trying to be “easy.” But when I reflect on it, I think about the times I’ve offered something to someone else—when I genuinely wanted to give—and how fulfilling it felt when they accepted.
Receiving isn’t taking. Receiving completes the giving loop.
When we say yes—whether to tea, to help, to kindness—we’re honoring both people. We’re saying yes to connection.
Giving and receiving are not opposites. They’re two ends of the same flow.
Deepak Chopra puts it beautifully:
“The intention behind your giving and receiving should always be to create happiness for the giver and the receiver.”
(The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, 1994)
So I’ve decided: Say ‘yes’ to the tea!
Next time someone offers me something, I’m going to notice my reflex to decline and pause. I’m going to ask myself: Do I actually want this? And if I do, I’m going to let myself say yes. Even if it feels awkward. Because this is my new practice—in presence, in reciprocity, in connection.
I’m also reframing how I think about receiving. It’s not indulgence. It’s not selfish. It’s wholeness. It’s what keeps the energy moving.
Every time we say yes to a simple act of care, we create space for gratitude, intimacy, and balance. And yes, that includes compliments (but more on that in another blog).
Where in your life are you reflexively saying no to things you actually want?
This week, notice what it feels like to pause… and say yes.
